Results

Well, my mom got her test results back. She is right in the middle of the chart for needing chemo and not needing chemo so it was up to her. The Dr. gave her some statistics for each, but they are just statistics... man I wish medical was more of an exact science. So after a few days of thinking and praying about it, my mom decided that she felt safer going through with chemo therapy. So... in 2 weeks she has her first treatment and with in 7-10 days after that she looses her hair. She going to get a wig that looks close to what her hair is now, I just ask her "please mom NO PINK" cause my mom can go a little nuts.  So, that's that. I don't really know how I feel or what to expect. I'm kind of numb at this point. I just want my mom to be okay and be with me for many many more years to come. I'm selfish like that. This was all SO unexpected! I mean, the lump in her breast was SO SMALL that they didn't think it was cancer at first, they thought it was just a sist. And after the biopsy came back saying it was breast cancer, we all thought that it was so small and caught so early that she would just have a simple little lumpectomy and be DONE with it.  This little thing has really turned out to be quite the little pain to take care of. I'm not trying to complain, my point is you just never know... you never know. I'm not ready to handle such adult things i guess. I still feel like a kid. Especially with having a baby in 2 MONTHS! I'm just a kid, wow my life has really changed this year. Heavenly Father must be trying to tell me "Rachel, it's time to grow up, to put away childish selfish things and become a woman... a mother." I'm listening now, You got my attention.

 I know that I have some much to be grateful for; I've got this amazing little person growing inside of me. Healthy, strong and getting bigger everyday. It's crazy that there is something inside of my body that I have no control over, he's got his own little personality and no matter how hard I try to get him to move when others want to feel my belly, nothing happens. I think he is trying to listen to what is going on when I call someone over cause he can be kicking or stretching or twisting, but the moment I say "come and feel," he stops it's so funny. I love him so much.  And I have the most amazing husband, he treats me so wonderful. I had no idea how much you can actually love someone,  just when you think your heart couldn't hold any more esteem for another person, your heart grows and that person fills each and every new crevasse of it all over again. 

I could go on an on, but I will keep those for maybe a little later. I don't know why I felt like getting so personal and opening up so much, It's not really like me. I tend to keep things in and/or share them usually only with Josh (poor guy). One more thing that I'm overwhelmingly grateful for; I'm so grateful for all the prays and best wishes that everyone has offered me and my family right now. It means so much to me that my Mom has so much support and so many people that love and care about her. She really is an amazing women and I'm so blest to have her as my mother because she has certainly been a great one. 

Thank you.