Labor... not that easy!

My Labor Story

(the long version for my own personal recording)

It was a typical lazy, sleep in saturday morning on November 8th. I was laying in bed trying to sleep in but unsuccessful from being so pregnant and uncomfortable, my hips were pretty sore the last few weeks. It was about 10 o'clock and I feel this little "tickle" down there, I don't know how else to describe it. So I quickly got up (having to pee pretty bad as well) and I couldn't tell if my water broke because I was going #1, but I thought that it might have just a little bit. So I woke Josh up and told him that maybe we should start getting ready and get the car seat in the car (we still hadn't done that this late in the game!) just incase. So I start getting ready, I'm in no pain by the way, and Josh is just silent, he was worried and anxious and I think that gave him an upset stomach even though he hadn't eaten anything yet. At about 10:30 I was putting my make up on, getting ready slowly cause I'm in no pain and not even sure my water broke, when all of the sudden I felt another little "tickle" and I rush to the bathroom just in time for a huge gush. I remember in our birthing class the teacher told us that when your water brakes it's nothing like the movies. She said that if your water broke on it's own, cause for a lot of women it doesn't happen till they are in the hospital, that it would just feel like a little trickle and not the huge embarrassing splash like in the movies. Well, mine was a huge embarrassing splash, I don't know what she was talking about. I'm SO glad that I was at home and not in public! 

So, we get to the hospital at about 11 and there are no rooms available and since I was not in any pain I waited in the waiting room till a nurse would come to get me. I'm pretty excited at the point, not feeling any contractions, but knowing that my baby would be coming very soon, I couldn't sit down. And I didn't want to sit down because I now that moving and walking around helps with labor. The only problem was that since my water had already broken, I was still leaking! Now I'm feeling that "little trickle" that the teacher was talking about. I still didn't want to just sit still, so I had to change my pants 3 time cause it looked like I peed my pants! Finally we get a room close to 1 o'clock, I get changed into my fabulous gown and get check in by the nurse. She checked my cervix and told me that I was maybe dilated to a 1! I thought, "Are you freaking kidding me?" cause the week before at my Drs appointment she told me I was dilated 1-2 cm. I was really hoping that my water breaking was a good sign that labor was more under way than that. People love to tell pregnant women horror stories I've decided, because about a week before all of this, my mother in law (I still love you if you're reading this) told me a story about how she heard that this lady lost her baby right after he was born because pitocin made his breathing and heart rate so slow. So I told the nurse that I wanted to have as drug free of a birth as I could handle and I especially didn't want pitocin. She said okay and explained that it was safe and it might be necessary bla bla bla and that I could go for a walk and see if that would get labor going for me. So, Josh, my mother in law, and my sister in law walked and walked and walked and walked; I wore them all out. I didn't want to stop walking, so they decided that start walking me one at a time so the other 2 could rest! I was finally starting to feel some contractions, but I was still about to walk through them so they weren't that bad. So we get back to the room and she checks me again and she tells me that I'm a 1 and a half!!! I told her that I was starting to feel contractions so maybe now things might progress a little faster. She told me I had one more hour to walk around and see if things get moving a long before the Dr. would put me on pitocin. So again I walked and walked and walked and more and more people started showing up for me. I was started to know what a real contraction felt like because I couldn't walk through them and could hardly talk. I go back to my room at about 6 pm and I was still only dilated 2 cm so what did the nurse do, she started me on pitocin! 

With in 1 hour I went from dealing with me pain very well I thought, trying to relax and breath, to terrible contractions that made me shake and cry out in pain. There were so many people there for me in the waiting room, but I didn't want anyone back in my room with me cause I was a mess! I was confused, in more pain that I had ever dealt with, frustrated and not sure when to ask for an epidural because I had head that unless you are dilated to a 5 or above it can slow down your labor. And plus I really wanted to have a drug free birth, so much for that. The nurse convinces me, she was very nice don't get me wrong, that an epidural wouldn't slow my labor because my water had already broken and I was established enough in labor that now was a good time so I get my epidural. Now I was kind of feeling like a failure because I really didn't want to give these strong drugs to my baby. And what do you know, my labor SLOWS DOWN! I went from having steadily increasing contractions about a minute apart, to have weak contractions 5-10 minutes apart! I couldn't feel them, but we were watching the monitor. Now they up my pitocin because labor is going backwards and then this starts stressing out my poor sweet baby! Every time I had a contraction (few and far between) my babies heart rate dropped DRAMATICALLY. He's heart rate went from his normal 150 my whole pregnancy to 72!!! All of this happen over a few hours, I don't remember the exact times. The nurse stopped the pitocin and let my body try and labor naturally, but by this time I was starting to feel again. It was probably about 2-3 a.m. when I start to feel it and I kept trying to tell the nurse that I was feeling the contractions and that they were getting worse. I woke Josh up at about 4, he was sleeping on the couch right next to me, to tell him how much pain I was in and he looked at the bag and my epidural bag was empty! The dr came in and said that I might have to have a c-section but they wanted to put an internal monitor in first to really see how the baby was doing. That hurt SO BAD cause I could feel everything. At this point the contractions were so bad I was shaking violently and throwing up, it was awful. 

All of the sudden things starting happening very fast! The Dr and some nurses come back in and tell me they are doing a c-section right now, had Josh scrubs and tell him he has a minute to put them on. It's all kind of a blur but they wheel me down at 5 am, everyone was calm, but talking and moving very fast, everyone was giving me directions at once, it was crazy! I was balling because I so scared. They didn't strap my arms down, I remember thinking that was weird. So the screen goes up, they give me more drugs which made me puke bright yellow and they started working. I could feel the pressure of the c-section and Josh was right there by my head so I made him keep talking to me to distract me. All of the sudden it wasn't pressure anymore, I felt a sharp pain somewhere inside of me and I say out loud "I felt that!" and they KEPT GOING and this time a scream because it hurt so bad. I heard the dr say "knock her out," and pretty much they next thing  I knew I was waking up in a different room, with 2 nurses I had never seen before. I remember I was so tired and I heard a mans voice telling me the details of my baby "he has strawberry blonde hair, 8 lbs 12 oz..." but I don't ever remember seeing that man cause I was so out of it. I was trying so hard to pry my eyes open so they would see I was awake enough and take me to see my baby. If you have ever been put under, you understand that this is very hard to do because all you want to do is sleep and you feel like you just got the best sleep of your life. I was very calm though because even though I couldn't see my baby, I knew he was safe and that was all that mattered to me. I felt very very peaceful. 

At 7:15 (2 hours after he was born) I was wheeled back to my room and Josh walked over and put our sweet baby in my arms. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! My heart was instantly his. I cannot describe the love that I felt surge through me in that moment. He was so alert, so perfect, so innocent and amazing. I couldn't help by cry, I was so happy.

Later, I found out that the c-section was an emergency because the baby was stressed, his heart rate was dropping, the umbilical cord was around his neck and his head was stuck in me cocked to the side. Crazy! I'm so grateful for modern medicine, so grateful! I don't even want to think about what might have happened in any other time period. I'm so grateful to have my sweet boy and that he is happy and healthy and absolutely the love of our lives!